Highway(s) to Hell
Sweatin’ to the Everything
Too Hot for the Hot Tub
I be heat strokin’
Dear God, am I on Fire?
No really, do you smell that? I think my skin is smoking.

So my husband and I went back east for our anniversary. We started in North Carolina, drove to D.C. and then flew to Montreal and Quebec City. (More on that fun travel experience later.) This portion of “How I spent my summer vacation” is devoted to the level of heat we endured on our travels.

It started out fine actually. July 4 in NC was unusually not humid and a balmy 80ish degrees. And that was as cool as it ever got the rest of the trip. We made our way to Williamsburg Va. and then to D.C. where temperatures soared to 106 degrees. This isn’t “eat some ice cream and cool off in the shade” kinda hot. This is get me to the closest water fountain or I’m going to drink that dog’s water bowl STAT. Why people live here (and wear SUITS) is beyond me. When it’s not hot as a June bride in a feather bed (sorry I think I was channeling Steel Magnolias) – when it’s not hot as balls out, it’s Snowmageddon. Props to those of you brave enough to live in the DC area. I don’t know how you do it. Oh wait, yes I do, you wear this!

Yes, that is one patriotic Speedo.

So anyway, I gave up on trying to look remotely nice the rest of the trip. Your makeup melts off the minute you step outside and the sweat stains on your butt are completely unflattering yet unavoidable. I just gave up and succumbed to my sweaty state. So with water bottles in tow, ponytail up, sweat stains on, we ventured out into the fire-pit that is Washington D.C. Even Jacky Bear had to endure it. Every photo we have of him he’s got his tongue hanging out and looking for water. This is the dog who HATES getting in the water. But man he loved laying in those fountains when he got the chance. Such a cutie.

Click for a giant hot dog.

As for the rest of the trip, even Canada! was in the 90s. So we never did quite escape it.

I love how the snow storm that’s hitting the east is being dubbed end of the world names like “Snowpacalyse,” “Snowmageddon” and  “The Snow Rapture.” Okay that last one I made up. But you have to admit, the terms the news has been using to describe the storm are hilarious. It’s like something you’d use to describe an abusive relationship:

Batters
Pulverizes
Pummels
Chokes
Wallops
Paralyzes
Slaps <–seriously??

Is the storm wearing a wifebeater too?

And now, funny pictures of cars buried in snow, just because:

Even this weather man is freaking out! 14-22 inches people!!!