New research has found that some female bodies have very high standards when it comes to sperm. Evidently sperm “communicate” with the female reproductive system to help prepare it for nurturing a fetus. If the female system does not approve of the sperm’s message, it could attack them.
ATTENTION LADYPARTS: Be on high alert for any and all sperm. Until further notice, treat said sperm as enemy combatants. You are given permission to kill on sight. I repeat: kill on sight.
What kind of message is the sperm sending out that the egg is rejecting? To help us understand, I wrote a short dialogue.
Sperm: “DAMN Mama you iz fiiiine. Do you clean your membrane with Windex
because I can see myself in it.”
Egg: (Attack!)
Sperm2: “Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.”
Egg: (Attack!)
Sperm3: “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”
Sperm4: “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to swim by again?
Egg: (Attack! Attack!)
Sperm5: “You complete me.”
Egg: “Enter.”
