Sorry for the late post. I was up all night following the New Moon premiere and afterparty via Twitter. Kidding! I stopped at 10ish. Anyway, more on that later. I’m actually late on my posts because I was being a good wife and got up at 4:30AM to drive my husband to the airport. As I was up and sort of at ‘em at this wee hour, I noticed a few things. First of all, my car picked this perfect opportunity to inform me that it needed an oil check. It’s a new car (1 year old, an infant) so it’s got all these fancy bells and whistles our old Honda didn’t have. Like power-windows. No, no we had those. But seriously I’m not used to some of these supposedly “convenient” amenities. I’ll start with the good stuff. CD player and Ipod connection, very cool. Seat warmers, well worth the extra pay (I made Randy get them). Remote-operated locks, awesome! I wish everything was remote-operated now. Like my apartment door! Anyway, these are all very cool things. But the uncool annoying things are like what happened this morning. The oil check light goes on in bright yellow and dings now every time I start the car. Also, the tire pressure light goes on in BRIGHT RED and dings making it seem like you have a flat tire, but in reality, just an ever-so-slight change in tire pressure has occurred. I learned this after taking it to the garage 3 times. Seriously car, I think you’re overreacting. We’re fine. Anyway, I’ve learned to ignore that one. And also, I do appreciate the warning for me to put on my seat belt with your calm dinging noise that gets faster and faster and louder and louder like a bomb is about to go off, but please don’t warn the slightly heavy inanimate object that’s in the passenger seat. It’s not a human. It doesn’t need a seat belt. You can stop dinging. PLEASE! Your lights and dings and whistles and random warnings are driving me nuts! And this morning at 5am you decided to add another warning ding to my list. “Time to get my oil changed!” Thank you infant car. I’ll get right on it.
Anyway, back to my 5am observations. I know not many people are on the road at this hour. But that doesn’t give you the right (I’m talking to you Crazy Trash Truck) to drive like a maniac down the middle of the road and swing your giant self around corners mere inches from sideswiping me. I really REALLY don’t want to get in a wreck right now. Not because of hurting the car (but that would suck too) but more importantly, it’s 5am and I’m not wearing a bra or any makeup. I’m not looking to get out of the car or be seen by anyone except for my lucky husband.
And lastly, who are the people that are out jogging at 5am? Who are you and what psycho medication are you on? Because you’ve got to be insane to voluntarily get up at the buttcrack of dawn to do strenuous ANY activity. That is literally my idea of hell. There were way too many of you out and about at 5ish in the morning. You need to go back to your beds and wake up in the bare minimum amount of time to get ready and go to work like I do (did).
As you can probably tell, I am not a morning person. God love you, you crazy bastards, that are. But I never have been, and never will be.
Rant over 
