Forever21

Hello beautiful, where have you been all my life?

So, I’m walking down 5th Avenue the other day, enjoying a delicious “Crumbs” cupcake, (I swear to God they put crack in those things, they’re addictive. The vanilla with chocolate frosting, deeeeelish!) And I happen to pass by an intriguing looking storefront. I look up to see a giant, red H&M staring back at me. It was love at first sight. I was ecstatic. I’m from North Carolina (y’all), we don’t have these stores in the south! I must go inside! I make my way to the doors and I’m stopped cold in my tracks by the words, “No food or drink allowed in store.” I look longingly into my hands at my half eaten $2.50 red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting. I could almost hear the sad violin music playing in the background. I stood there, frozen, with the revolving door swinging in front of me. Do I dare ditch my beloved red velvet cupcake with cream cheese frosting? We had been through so much. When I needed that mid afternoon pick me up, he was there for me. He tagged along with me as I strolled down my precious 5th Avenue. Do I dare ditch him now in favor of another?

Oh screw it, it was $2.50 and I need to go on a diet anyway. Trash can slam dunk!

I push past some annoying sidewalk stragglers and make my way through the revolving door. I come out on the other side…..and it was blissful. How had I never heard of this store? Three stories of unadulterated shopping bliss at prices that make this unemployed newlywed do a little jig. “Ok, Karen, focus, breathe. You can do this. Just buy one thing, one thing. No, not that! Sure it looks great on the boob-less wonder manequin who’s missing certain bodily accentuations (like thighs, or a waist, or an ass to top it off). Honey, step away from the skinny pencil dress, and make your way to the jeans.”

My inner voice can be so annoying sometimes. But I always know to trust it, because if I didn’t, I’d probably end up walking out of a store with some variation of purple leggings, ridiculously uncomfortable heels that I would wear once, and a gagillion new outfits to work out in. Gotta look cute in the gym! But I digress, getting back to the story. I make my way through the 3 floors of the store, quickly bypassing the second floor since it was boys clothing only, (ew, stinky boys), and manage to make it out of there with an adorable dress, for under $30, that I can wear out to dinner or drinks. Success! I will admit though, sometimes it might help to enter into such a huge clothing store with a game plan of what you want to buy. Or else you might find yourself crying in a corner buried in a pile of clothes that don’t match, or walking out of the store looking like this woman.

Bless her

So, is H&M only a northern thing, or a northern and west coast thing? Where was North Carolina hiding this beautiful gem of a store?

A: Forever28

Oh dear sweet sheltered sister. I forget that you have not been into an H&M. I remember when I first discovered H&M. It was in New York my junior year in college. Probably that very one on 5th Avenue. I remember thinking, “sweet Jesus this place is HUGE and has cute clothes everywhere AND at affordable prices!!” I bought 3 shirts that day. My still favorite and perfectly fitting white blouse for $15, a cute turquoise tank and a black mini- T, both for $5. It was amazing. It was amazing right up until I discovered Forever21. We have 3 H&Ms here in SF, all within probably a 10 block radius, but I find myself skipping it to go into Forever21. We have a giant 3 story one that I love. I hate having to elbow fight with brace-face 15 year old’s to get a halter dress – “Hands off! You don’t even have boobs yet anyway!” Yeah I said it. I’m broke and shameless and will do anything in the name of fashion.  H&M and Forever21 are the kind of stores that keep me going during these tough, post-student loan times. Thanks guys for keeping me in style!