Ok no I’m not, but I would be if I wore designer Miguel Caballero’s clothes. They say he designed the suit that Obama wore to his inauguration. You can buy his impenetrable fashions at Harrod’s for a near impenetrable price tag. This polo shirt for instance is $7200. But hey, you can’t put a price on life! Caballero’s fashions are able to withstand Ak-47 rounds and 9mm rounds as well. For an extra fee you can also get protection from knife stabs.

And I love their marketing. For “high protection,” you can be shot by a min-uzi and look fashionable! Don’t believe me? Watch this video of a guy getting shot while wearing one of his designer leather jackets.