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So evidently MTV is teaming up with Foursquare to encourage teens to get checked out for STDs. Their campaign is called “GYT” Get Yourself Tested. They’re tying to make getting tested cool. I think it’s a good idea, but I just don’t feel like Foursquare is the best partner for this.

In case you don’t know anything about Foursquare, it’s a smart phone application that tells friends and strangers where you are. It’s a way to broadcast to your fans how social you are and how many cool places you’ve been. It’s also a great tool for stalkers. But that’s beside the point. You can also earn badges for places you visit and things you do. They look something like these:

So I understand teenagers like to follow what everyone else is doing and brag about what they do, but going to the clinic to get checked for STDs isn’t one of them.

“Sally May just checked in to Planned Parenthood.”

Am I right? No one wants to broadcast that, let alone get a special badge showing you got tested. You may as well have a Scarlet Letter on your page. To prove my argument, here is a sample of what it could look like:

We coined this new STD badge, the “Vadge.” Seems more appropriate no?

Don’t worry, we thought of a badge for the boys too:

So go now, get tested and get your Vadge!
Announce it to the world!
I HAVE CRABS!!
Or don’t.

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Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive,
and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.
It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Lifedoggie!

I found this article on Huffington Post about lifeguard doggies in Italy. How awesome! Look at those lil guys all ready to go save some lives.

“They leap from helicopters or speeding boats, bringing aid to swimmers who get into trouble off Italy’s popular beaches. These “lifedogs” wear a harness or tow a buoy that victims can grab, or a raft they can sit on to be towed back to shore, and unlike their human counterparts, they can easily jump from helicopters and speeding boats to reach swimmers in trouble. The dog becomes a sort of intelligent lifebuoy. It is a buoy that goes by itself to a person in need of help, and comes back to the shore also by himself, choosing the best landing point and swimming through the safest currents. Being retrievers, they do not associate it with a physical activity, but it is rather a game for them.”

I wonder if Jack could be a life doggie? Something tells me no.


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Pride Parade’s today! Everyone grab your feather boas and chaps!

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New research has found that some female bodies have very high standards when it comes to sperm. Evidently sperm “communicate” with the female reproductive system to help prepare it for nurturing a fetus. If the female system does not approve of the sperm’s message, it could attack them.

ATTENTION LADYPARTS: Be on high alert for any and all sperm. Until further notice, treat said sperm as enemy combatants. You are given permission to kill on sight. I repeat: kill on sight.

What kind of message is the sperm sending out that the egg is rejecting? To help us understand, I wrote a short dialogue.

Sperm: “DAMN Mama you iz fiiiine. Do you clean your membrane with Windex
because I can see myself in it.”

Egg: (Attack!)

Sperm2: “Hi. I’m an astronaut, and my next mission is to explore Uranus.”

Egg: (Attack!)

Sperm3: “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”

Sperm4: “Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to swim by again?

Egg: (Attack! Attack!)

Sperm5: “You complete me.”

Egg: “Enter.”

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And you wonder why the rest of America thinks North Carolina is backwards. The media enjoys broadcasting only our finest to represent our state.


Get! I said get!

Today I get to fly down to LA for the night to go to E3. It’s a giant expo for gamers (or in my case advertisers for video games). This is my first time at E3 and I’m actually pretty excited. I’m not a “gamer” myself but I am fan of new technology and design innovation. And I’m just a little bit of a geek at heart. I promise I won’t be dressing up though like some people.

But I do fully intend to get tons of photos with B-list celebrities and collect as many freebies given away as possible. Oh and spend all of my per diem. Who needs food when Melrose is a quick cab ride away!?

And you know what else is just a quick cab ride away? The set of Water for Elephants. Dear internet gods, please let Rob know I am in LA and will be eating at Katana restaurant at 9:00. It’s on Sunset. Got it? I’ll see you there ;)

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Evidently they’re making a movie soon about Christian the lion. Christian was a pet lion, yes I said pet, purchased in 1969 at a Harrod’s department store in London by these 2 Australian dudes. He lived with them in their apartment, rode in their convertible Bentley, ate at fine restaurants and spent his days lounging in a furniture shop. Eventually he got too big and had to be released into the wild. The story of their reunion is pretty unbelievable and makes me wonder if lions have some sort of 6th sense. You can read an article all about Christian and his story here.

And here’s the video of their reunion 9 months later:

Awwwwww.

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So the new internet meme that’s replaced Rick Rolling seems to be this new thing called Bros Icing Bros. I guess it started as some frat game in South Carolina (shocking) but is sweeping the nation. My agency just discovered it today and decided that we will start playing it too. “The rules are simple: hand a Smirnoff Ice (the warmer/more disgusting the flavor, the better) to a friend (your “bro”), and he must get down on one knee and chug the malt beverage, regardless of location and situational appropriateness,”culture blog The Awl explains. “HOWEVER. If said friend happens to have a Smirnoff Ice on his person, then the bro who initiated the battle has to chug BOTH Ices. This is known as an Ice Block.”

The deliveries of the “icings” have gotten pretty creative too. People are Fed Exing them to friends in other offices. They’re delivering them on dogs (see below). And of course after you get iced you have to post your photo online drinking it on one knee. Like on this site. Don’t be surprised if you see my photo on here in the next week. I’ve got to go buy a case of Smirnoff Ice now…wow I feel like I’m back in college.

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If you haven’t been to Google today (what is wrong w/ you?) you should! It’s Pac Man’s 30th anniversary and you can play it in the header! Brilliant!

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No these are not burnt sausages nor are they super skinny potatoes. These tubey things are used pantyhose stuffed with human hair and animal fur (of course!). Evidently they create super absorbent oil booms. Matter of Trust, a San Francisco-based nonprofit collects locks from over 300,000 salons and barbershops throughout North and South America, China, and India and creates these “booms.” You can read more about the Gulf  Coast spill and see where you can donate your hair, fur or pantyhose here and here.

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