Food

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Chocalypse Now.

O – M – G. This is real people. Like fo serious. Like I fear for our children’s futures. According to this article we are RUNNING OUT OF CHOCOLATE. Let me repeat that. WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF CHOCOLATE. This may be the saddest thing I’ve ever heard about mankind. Forget global warming and the melting icecapades, and who even cares if we run out of helium – it’s not like we can’t go a day without a balloon, but chocolate!? Say it ain’t so!!

Ok, ok. It’s not like it will be gone gone, just rare – “In 20 years chocolate will be like caviar. It will become so rare and so expensive that the average Joe just won’t be able to afford it.” So this means $12 Snicker bars, raisins for Halloween treats, and a world of angry women. Hell hath no fury like a woman with no chocolate.

To quote Gizmodo, “Somebody needs to light a fire under those Oompa-Loompas, stat.” I’m off to go stockpile some Mr. Goodbars. God speed.

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I have sinned.

I have committed one of the deadliest sins – GLUTTONY. This weekend I flew to Lexington, KY to visit my husband’s family. There’s not a whole lot to do there except hang out, watch movies, and eat. A LOT. Our feeding habits tend to regress whenever we’re there and we end up leaving in a food coma or in sugar shock. Sometimes both. I tallied up how much I ate on this trip alone and was appalled at what I found.

In a total of 5 days, this is how much junk food I consumed:

Ice cream sundaes (2)
Peanut M&Ms (1)
Strawberry shortcake (1)
Fries (2)
Cheeseburger (1)
Caramel Frappuccino (1)
Mac and cheese (1)
Chocolate chip cookie (1)
Buffalo wings (3)
Potato skins (2)
Potato chip bags (1)
Chick-fil-A nuggets (8)
Garlic breadsticks (2)
Fazolis cheesey baked ziti (1)
Nachos (1)
Chili Cheese sandwich (2)
Cokes (13)

Total calories: 4,067,890,000

Holy geezus – It’s a good thing I only visit a couple times a year.

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Thought for Food

Wanna never eat again? Watch Food Inc. I did last night and  am about this close to stripping naked and joining PETA. I’ve just finished reading every label on my food in the house and now think the only way to eat healthily and safely is to grow my own food in my backyard on my roof deck, or find the extra dough to be able to shop at a farmer’s market every week. I’m not kidding about this. Okay maybe a little – I won’t be growing my own food, or stripping nude – yet. But this is just like the time I read Fast Food Nation. I stopped eating fast food. Kaputz. Zip. None. Except In N Out and they don’t count b/c 1.) it’s mentioned specifically in the book as one of the good guys and 2.) they use all local and naturally grown/raised food. Plus it’s just delicious.

Anyway, as I was saying, I’ve looked at all the food labels in my apartment including the unopened bag of sour cream and onion Lays I just bought before the movie and basically everything has some sort of MSG in it! You always hear about MSG in Chinese food but it’s actually in everything. Visit here to read about all hidden names it has. What is it? Basically it’s a food enhancer. It makes your food taste better making you want to keep eating it again and again. You know how Lays chips say “Bet you can’t eat just one.” They’re not kidding. They’re literally sprinkling those things with MSG so you can’t put them down! And MSG is just one of the many problems we have in how our food is prepared. We’ve got to do something to stop how the food industry is run in our country. It’s really quiet alarming how screwed up the system is. Watch Food Inc. and read Fast Food Nation if you haven’t already. It’ll definitely change the way you look at your food and it’ll definitely make you lose your appetite.

Oh this is real, people.
“For years, theoretical sandwologists had promised that man would one day be able to preserve and enjoy a sandwich with the same technology used to store motor oil.” – Stephen Colbert

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Sweet Cheesus!

Last weekend we went to this new grilled cheese place that opened up a little while ago. It’s called The American Grilled Cheese Kitchen. I think it’s such a great idea to have  a restaurant that specializes in grilled cheese sandwiches. They have homemade soda too! I love this place! And it’s super cute on the inside:

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Red Velvet Pancakes

This is what I had for breakfast when I was in Santa Barbara last weekend.

Yep. That’s right.
RED VELVET PANCAKES.
Pure deliciousness.

They were from CrushCakes Cupcakery. You may have seen them on Cupcake Wars on the Food Network.

They’re known for their Red Velvet cupcake. Unfortunately when I revisited later in the day they were already sold out. So, I tried the strawberry one.

This is by far one of the best cupcakes I’ve ever had! Even better than the pancakes! Mmm CrushCakes, how I miss you.

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2 Teeth Less Wise

They’re out! And now I am celebrating with a Vicodin and some ice cream. Life is numb.

I found this Popsicle recipe on a this cool food blog. Check it out. They’re so pretty I almost wouldn’t want to eat them!

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Cupcake Challenge

My husband started this cupcake challenge with some of his bored coworkers one day. They bet him that he couldn’t eat 2 Hostess cupcakes in under a minute. He lost the bet. Other coworkers also attempted and failed. Then during this past weekend when we were at home for our Dad’s retirement party (more on that later) we decided to bust out the cupcake challenge yet again, but this time in good ole North Carolina. Karen was the first contestant to bravely attempt the challenge. She came down to the wire, but failed to eat them all despite our supportive cheers of “eat it!” and “stuff it!” One man EDD however did face the challenge mouth-on, and swallowed his championship whole in a record 36 seconds. Behold the upset and the victory of THE CUPCAKE CHALLENGE.*

*This challenge is in no way sponsored or supported by Hostess, but if they want to give us money to make this thing a viral sensation, we’ll talk.

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Oh geez…how did i miss this? Jersey Shore’s Pauly D endorsing Baskin Robbins? Kind of amazing. Check out the facebook application too to mix your own beats – REEEEE-MIX.

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I was walking home from the Times Square area the other day and I passed by a very intriguing looking restaurant. I stopped and looked at it for a little while, wondering why it seemed so familiar. And then it hit me like a ton of bricks. This restaurant was featured on Throwdown with Bobbly Flay! The restaurant’s name? Schnippers Quality Kitchen. And what exactly did they throw down with Bobby Flay?

Mmmmm. Sloppy Joe’s.

I haven’t had a good quality Sloppy Joe in a while and when I stumbled upon this little masterpiece of a food establishment, my hunger for them came raging back. And what else does Schnipper’s specialize in?

Mmmmm. Macaroni and Cheese.

Seriously?! I can’t handle it. Mac and Cheese is one of my all time faves. If it was socially acceptable, I would swim around in a bath of it. But it’s not, unless you were one of those lucky kids on Nickelodeon’s Double Dare or What Would You Do? The next best thing though would obviously be to eat it, so that’s the plan! This week, I’m dragging the hubsters down to Schnipper’s Quality Kitchen for some good old Sloppy Joe’s and Mac and Cheese. But who are we kidding? There will be no dragging needed. He’s going to be skipping along side of me like a giddy school girl in anticipation of sinking his teeth into this heart-attack on a plate kind of food. Looks like I’m going to have to give up food for a few days before and after to allow these goodies into my diet.

Sigh. Sacrifices.

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Cheese Orgasmica

The little cheese shop down the street from me had this cheese available for sample. It’s called Beemster XO. It is heaven at first bite. Or as this one reviewer so cleverly phrased it, “Smells like feet, tastes like heaven.” Mmm stinky cheese is the best. Here’s the product description in case you’re wondering. I know you are:

We experienced a moment of culinary divinity when we first sampled this double-aged Gouda. Previously, we doubted that any cheese could be more flavorful than Beemster’s 18-month Aged Gouda, but their X.O. indeed sets a new bar. With this 26-month gouda, we first noticed its delicate, brittle texture. After we tasted it, the flavor of butterscotch permeated the palate, followed by alternating waves of whiskey and pecan.

Anyway, for some stupid reason I did not buy it right then and there and instead waited until last night – during a massive cheese craving – to go and get it. Well I was too late! TOO LATE. And they didn’t have it anymore. They were kind enough to offer me samples of weaker alternatives that I ended up buying – b/c hey I needed a cheese fix – but it will never compare to my Beemster XO. I’m seriously considering buying a cheese wheel of it on Amazon.com.

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