Articles by KarenNYC

While I already knew that I was awkward, particularly in social situations, I discovered that I have graduated to a whole other level of awkwardness. Today, I realized that I’m an awkward walker….or “WALKWARD” for short. It’s not that I realized today that I look funny when I walk. No, being pigeon toed and knock-kneed at the same time brought on that realization in Kindergarten, (“Mommy, I just want to run fast like the other kids, why do I always step on myself!?) I stuck to swing sets for most of grade school, until my inward-turned feet worked themselves out. No, it’s more so that no matter how hard I try, I really don’t think I’m ever going to be a true “city walker.” I’ve got the speed down; Jeff’s 6’5″ so I’ve spent our entire relationship trying to keep up. It’s the navigation part that I can’t seem to master. I don’t know if it’s because my motor skills never developed properly or what. But I am the absolute queen of that awkward situation when someone is walking towards you and you don’t know which side to pass them on, so you instinctively choose right and they do too, then you veer back left and they do too, then you think they’re going to veer back right so you stay left but they do too. God it sucks!

But today, I think it reached a boiling point. Walking along the sidewalk between 36th and 37th street, I managed to do the awkward bob and weave with 5 different people. 5 people in one tenth of a mile. Good God. The first 2 were innocent, 1 quick bob and a weave and we were out of each other’s way. The 3rd guy was a bit trickier because we also had to navigate through a 4 foot snow patch, but we managed to escape each other’s paths with some of our dignity still intact. Number 4 was just trying my patience by walking and texting at the same time, (I was actually just jealous of him because I can’t walk and text without falling). He wasn’t even looking at the sidewalk or at me, but still managed to match every bob and weave move that I was throwing at him. It’s like he could read my mind, (oh my God, I bobbed and weaved with Edward).

But then, there was number 5. Number 5 was a dog walker moving briskly along jamming to his iPod. And number 5 was walking 4 fluffy pomeranians that took up the entire sidewalk with their leashes and poofiness. I panicked, then forfeited. I dashed into the Starbuck’s that was like a beacon shining on the hill and my escape route away from yappy fur balls, terrifyingly tangled leashes, a jazzy walking dog walker, and more than likely fallng on my face.

Does anyone else have this kind of problem?