Anna 2.0

As I was picking the dog toys up and spraying the kitchen with Lysol to get rid of that dead animal odor from the trashcan, I thought of the person that I wished I was. This person, let’s call her “Anna 2.0,” would be incredibly put together – like someone in a Nancy Meyers movie. Her apartment cottage would be straight off the set of Something’s Gotta Give with everything being beautiful and fresh.

She’d wear white all the time.

In fact, everything would be white.

In her gorgeous white living room, beside the desk with the antique typewriter, Anna 2.0′s coffee table would be uncluttered and would display the chicest of coffee table books like:

or

or

And in her bathroom, instead of lighting a match to mask the stench left by Husband 1.0, Anna 2.0 would get up early every Saturday morning to go to the farmer’s market and collect fresh flowers to place all over the house so that everything smells of lavender and freesia, and not wet dog.

She’d brush her teeth with this toothpaste:

and wash with this soap:

and moisturize with this lotion:

All the while, looking like this:

She’d make up the bed every day. Hell this is a fantasy, her maid would make up the bed every day. One of those beds with 45 accent pillows, but every one is placed just so.

And even if the bed didn’t get made, it’d look something like this:

But sadly I am not Anna 2.0, I am Anna 1.0 – the girl who lives in a small apartment with a hodgepodge of furniture, drowning in doggy toys and bathing with the jumbo size Costco shampoo. Sigh, a girl can dream…