Twilight “Toy”

Thanks to the ladies at LTT, I was introduced to this new Twilight-branded piece of memorabilia. It’s not office-appropriate so don’t click below unless you’re fully willing to accept all kinds of embarrassment that may be ensue.

Introducing “The Vamp.” The sparkly dildo also dubbed “ice dick.” This toy retains its temperature, whether hot or cold, so you can toss it in the fridge for that “authentic experience.”

According to their website, it’s for those who “love those dark and mysterious vamps on the screen and in the books we all thumb through lustfully.” It’s pale and flesh-toned in color to mimic our “Sire’s design.” WTF? Also, and I’m quoting, “Don’t be surprised if this toy seduces you, its long sleek shaft and deliciously ridged head calling out to you in the night. But don’t save this for just nocturnal escapades, try taking our Vamp out in the sunlight and watch it sparkle.”

Look there is a PG-rated video showing how it sparkles!

OK I’m officially traumatized.