A: Handstand Poo Poo’s and Doggy Shenanigans

So I had to make a trip to the bookstore today and I brought Jack so he could get some exercise. Every time we go for a walk it’s a game of tug of war. We can’t just walk. We have to run at full speed down the street, zig-zagging towards anything that looks like it needs to be peed on. After a while I have to tell him “Jack, nothing’s even coming out buddy.” But that doesn’t stop him from trying. Then he  does this little bull move where he scrapes his back paws into the dirt like he’s covering his trail and runs off. And finally before we get to the bookstore, it’s the obligatory poop. It almost always happens at a most inopportune time, like in front of a cable car filled with tourists. I think he always feels like he needs to hurry because he’s constantly walking while going, and sometimes I guess when it’s a really tough, he does what we like to call the “handstand poo poo.” He lifts his leg like he’s about to pee then swoops it into crouch while supporting all of his weight on his front paws. I don’t know why he does this. To get more leverage? Who knows. It’s hysterical to watch though.

So after all our business had been taken care of, I go inside the bookstore. Jack immediately flattens himself to the ground, refusing to go up the escalator. I pick him up by his harness and place him on it where he quickly bolts up the stairs (get me the hell off this  death apparatus!) and takes a flying leap out. We do this 3 more times to get to the top floor. That’s where it seems to be the most quiet in the entire store. Grrreat. I find what I’m looking for and start flipping through. Jack meanwhile is wallowing on the floor on his back. Wiping his face on the carpet and sneezing, and sniffing at passersby feet. It’s all fine until the phone rings – on max volume of course. I struggle to turn it off in my purse when at the exact same time, I’m doing this, a strangely-dressed minority man walks by and Jack goes berserk barking and growling at him, causing everyone in the vicinity including odd man, to jump and turn to look at us. Yep, time to leave. Sorry everyone! Racist dog, you know how it is. Yeah I’m leaving, but not without leaving our mark!

K: Awww, look at my doggy nephew. That’s my fave pic of him